Six tricks of the sneaky ego
The spiritual journey is fraught with opportunities for our sneaky ego to trip us up. Our ego isn’t really a thing; it’s the self-referential aspect of the mind, which means it’s a way of seeing, and it’s also just a bunch of thoughts. But it seems like it’s a crafty nuisance sometimes.
Even though we think we’re diligently trying to be honest with ourselves and open our heart to awakening, we often find we’ve veered off into unconscious detours. They happen because we have unconscious blindspots that are too deep to be seen yet.
Here are six ways we can get waylayed.
Firstly, we keep finding fascination in our stories, and we keep reverting to them as if they are true, important, and hold answers. They are narratives based on situations, usually involving other people, and they carry drama or at least a distraction. They are based in the future or the past. Until we get sick of repeating them to our therapists and confidants, and mostly ourselves, we are caught in a hamster wheel of mental ruts. Answers are not there. You know you’re caught in this eddy when you find yourself saying he, she, or they a lot, instead of I.
Secondly, we persist at trying to think our way out of our pain or angst. We act like we can analyze and psycologize and therapize our way to enlightenment. Our reasonings only add stories on top of stories, distracting ourselves with theories.
Thirdly, we bypass our pain with well-intentioned positive thinking and spiritual practice. We act like we can keep ahead of the negative thoughts by conjuring feelings of connection and bliss. We think our expansive experiences are proof that these practices are the only thing needed to arrive at peace. These states are a by-product of the path, not the goal, and can become a distracting drug that misses the mark of true peace.
Next, we jump around from story-telling to analysis to meditation and swim in a convoluted, fast-talking soup of figuring and wondering. Our focus bounces around, sure that we’re being productive because we’re thinking about the problem and wishing it gone. Instead, it leads to the trap of being a perpetual seeker, and lessens our faith that true peace is even available at all.
Another exit strategy is thinking we are on to something, that each of our searches has produced a good insight, impying we must be close to having the big answer, maybe the final one! We are convinced that if we keep piling on more insights and practices, we will hit the bullseye. We pride ourselves in our diligent trust in the future, stunting our ability to see what the present really offers. We live from eureka to eureka.
Lastly we revel in emotionality. We believe we are truly feeling our feelings by letting out all the hurt and anger when it arises, which is usually a lot. We take the instruction to “be with the felt sense of the body” as an excuse to be a feelings junkie, not facing the attached ideas that made our body contracted in the first place. Without a good guide, we can strengthen our sense of victimhood and perpetutate more pain.
These exist strategies can be avoided with trust in a good guide to keep us on track. Acknowledging that they can happen and being on the lookout for them makes it more likely we’ll be honest with ourselves and willing to ask for help. The good news is, even when they do happen, we can use them to grow in humility and wisdom.
